Seminary Closing Adds To Already Disastrous Meat Market Shortage

MIAMI -- Rabbi Moishe Caplan sits amid a cacophony of ringing phones and incoming email notifications in the basement office where he works. Dressed in a yarmulke, silk tie and carpet slippers, he surveyed the toppling list of unmarried boys on his oak desk.

"Normally, this, on a Monday…" he says, indicating the entire 20 square foot basement, “I would be knee-deep in thank you cards,and chocolate baskets,oy do I love chocolate”.

But the cardboard boxes of headshots and resumes in the room reach his waist. It's a scene being repeated in the offices of Shadchanim and warehouses across the nation.
The meat market shortage is the result of the collapse of Ahavas Eitzim, formerly the largest seminary in Israel. This institution was responsible for over 40 percent of the “great girl” influx every August to the US. In September, nearly 400 girls were turned away after a bug in the school’s accounting department bankrupted the organization.

For a girl to achieve the title of “great girl” she must complete a full year in a top 40 school and thereby become eligible to marry a “great guy”. This new shortage complicates the already slim ratio of girls to boys in the US.

"I usually don’t get many dates, but these days I’m booked 4 nights a week," said Yatzhee Spitz, though a series of spasms and stutters.

The situation has hit a particularly low point when reports of “single girl” sightings have caused tons of eligible boys to flock to unsafe third world countries such as Canada and Uzbekistan, only to discover that these were just marketing schemes by the department of tourism.

The Congress of Single Guys has ignored our attempts to contact them for a statement.
Read more!