Heavy lifters eyed in steroids probe.
Scandal rocked the world of the Hagba Torah Lifting League again this week as Congress announced that it would open up an investigation as to the use of performance enhancing drugs within the HTLL. There had been speculation that such an announcement was imminent after the release of the Rubinstein Report, a league commissioned study under the direction of established Gabbai (and very amateur Ba’al Tefillah), Yissacher Rubinstein. The Report uncovered widespread use of Human Growth Hormone as well as Steroids amongst a serious percentage of the league. One of the names disclosed was World Record Holder, Nachman Klenin who captured the record of most columns lifted on Parshas Vayakel-Pekudei in 1999.Many now believe that the record should include in asterisk next to it when recorded in the HTLL record books. Klenin issued a strong statement of denial through his lawyer “I completely and categorically deny these allegations. I believe these accusations are a clear defamation of my character and will consider a counter-suit against my former trainer". Klenin was referring to his former personal trainer, Dov Povarski who testified against Klenin in a plea bargain agreement with Federal Agents investigating a tax-fraud case against Povarski. The League can’t seem to escape the dark cloud of substance abuse that has been hanging over it since the mid 90s. Hagba Lifting commissioner Zelig Notterberg insisted that the League welcomed any investigation. “We are committed to restoring the integrity of the game and open to any outcomes or recommendations that will help remove any element of corruption and cheating within our league". The League is currently taking bids on who will bribe the investigator and is up to Tzum Tzvetah Mool from *Maatan B’sesser.
*= name has been changed for legal purposes.
Scandal rocked the world of the Hagba Torah Lifting League again this week as Congress announced that it would open up an investigation as to the use of performance enhancing drugs within the HTLL. There had been speculation that such an announcement was imminent after the release of the Rubinstein Report, a league commissioned study under the direction of established Gabbai (and very amateur Ba’al Tefillah), Yissacher Rubinstein. The Report uncovered widespread use of Human Growth Hormone as well as Steroids amongst a serious percentage of the league. One of the names disclosed was World Record Holder, Nachman Klenin who captured the record of most columns lifted on Parshas Vayakel-Pekudei in 1999.Many now believe that the record should include in asterisk next to it when recorded in the HTLL record books. Klenin issued a strong statement of denial through his lawyer “I completely and categorically deny these allegations. I believe these accusations are a clear defamation of my character and will consider a counter-suit against my former trainer". Klenin was referring to his former personal trainer, Dov Povarski who testified against Klenin in a plea bargain agreement with Federal Agents investigating a tax-fraud case against Povarski. The League can’t seem to escape the dark cloud of substance abuse that has been hanging over it since the mid 90s. Hagba Lifting commissioner Zelig Notterberg insisted that the League welcomed any investigation. “We are committed to restoring the integrity of the game and open to any outcomes or recommendations that will help remove any element of corruption and cheating within our league". The League is currently taking bids on who will bribe the investigator and is up to Tzum Tzvetah Mool from *Maatan B’sesser.
*= name has been changed for legal purposes.
