OUT OF THE IN-BOX (A PLEA FOR HELP)

Dear Hockberry,

I am an avid reader of your site. When I saw that you were starting a new advice column I was ecstatic. I am a very indecisive person and can rarely make a decision on my own. I usually wait out any judgment until the issue either dissolves itself or one of the options is now not possible or let my husband decide. I need advice desperately. I can’t decide what my first question to your column will be. Should I ask about Shidduch/seminary issues with my children, or should ask a question about some rabbinic decree citing sources that people will bash in the comments? (I am not even sure that you will print this). Should I even send this……wow, I don’t know what to do. Who is gonna answer these questions anyways? Will I really be posted anonymously? Am I also paranoid? What do I do about that? You really think you can help? If you receive this, please help me!!.........I think?

Mrs. Should I, Cleveland, OH

Dear Mrs. Should I,

After conferring with a doctor for a few minutes (between aliyas), we feel confident we can help you out. We believe it is actually the seminary and/or shidduch stress that is causing you to be so indecisive. And by the way, your husband has bad taste. To answer all your questions we will go in order. Yes, you should ask both questions about shidduch and seminary (we need more mail). Yes, we are printing this (obviously). The fact is that you did send the email so we won’t count that as a question. WE will answer the questions. And by WE, we mean our illustrious team of 3 gifted writers typing this simultaneously. Thank you, Moshe. My pleasure, Kalman. You were posted anonymously, unless your actual name is Should I (maybe you’re Swedish). No, you are not paranoid; we just have that effect on people. That’s not funny, Eli!! If the answer to the previous question had indeed been yes, we would have suggested counseling. And finally, YES we can help and welcome any question you readers out there may have.

Before we close we want to thank you for you support and readershipment.  That is not a word Moshe, and I’m sick of correcting your spelling and grammar mistakes. You know what; I’m not in the mood for this right now. Take care, guys. And good night to you all.