JERIMIAH CARPENTER SR, a well known Pesach Goy announced yesterday that he might stop into the homes where he has purchased chometz for a quick drink or two. "I might even bring my friend, Ed" said Carpenter at a news conference.
Mr. Carpenter did not mention any particular homes that he would visit but members of Khal Anshei Emes in Baltimore, MD are pretty sure that Carpenter is referring to them. Mr Carpenter has been the head janitor at their synagogue for the past 21 years and is considered a close associate of their leader, Rabbi Yitzchok Ber Strauss. "He's an honest man" said Rabbi Strauss "contractually he has all the rights in the world to enter your home and enjoy some delicious chametz, I have no objections to his plans".
Mr Carpenter has been purchasing chametz from the congregants for many years now without incident but it seems as this year will be different. "I just thought, hey why not? It's mine aint it"? said Carpenter with a hearty chuckle. "Heck I may take some to go in my brown paper bag" he continued. "Rabbi told me it’s cool; I might help myself to a bowl of Cheerios while I'm there".
While it is unclear exactly how much Carpenter paid for the chometz some say the transaction involved a pen and a handkerchief. Reports coming out of Baltimore indicate that Carpenter may have the right to the chometz of over 67 homes. "I won’t do none of y’all no harm, I know its your holiday but you done sold me your beer" Carpenter said, addressing concerns that he might disrupt the oneg yom tov of the shul members. "My friend, Ed-he's the nicest guy in the world, yeah he cool. I wonder if Bill can come out too, yall will loove Bill" added Carpenter enthusiastically.
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PESACH GOY: "I WILL PROBABLY STOP IN FOR YOUR LIQUOR"
