THINGS YOU HEAR OFTEN:

  • " What third arm?- that's my nose!!

Breaking News Stories

Seminary closing adds to already terrible meat market crisis



Bank calls "elevaroon" on company's chapter 11 filing



Freedom fighters return safely to base in Paris



Ford introduces "16" passenger van for Jewish families



Man found lying when he complimented friend's tie



Birdcaller to release Sefira album



Crocs still ugly as sin



Shul sues Madoff for interest on matanah pledge



Study:75% things on menu are great-owner



Shul not sure if Michigan delegate counts for Minyan



Mohel's daughter injured in Take Your Daughter To Work Day accident



Market Trends: Meat in a cone



Matza in basement just got stale

----------------ANYTHING NEWING?!!!!!!!!--------------

PESSIMISTS AGREE: IT PROBALLY WON'T HAPPEN


After polling pessimist after pessimist, many thought we would never reach a conclusive opinion of the group’s feelings. It became clear that most people agreed that it wasn’t even an option and shouldn’t bother trying because it probably will not happen in the end. We have also heard rumors that some have already given up on it.

In last year’s survey, we noticed a drastic surge of negative attitude when it came to pessimists. Most concurred that in their opinion it will never change and things probably won’t work out.

While optimists will argue that things always have a way of working out, pessimists are still not convinced. "There are too many variables that can go invariably wrong and that's what is most likely going to happen", said Pessimistic Community Chairman Steve Noberg "and this quote will likely be distorted to make me look bad".

“This protest probably won’t work, this protest probably won’t work” chanted protesters at a half empty demonstration yesterday in a quiet forest. Many held unopened umbrellas in case of rain. One woman held a sign that read “We are almost in a recession, the war in Iraq is dragging on, Gas prices are high, China doesn’t like monks, my four-year old is still not potty-trained and this sign is too heavy”.
Police estimated the crowd at the rally numbered at “really not so many”.

 
design by: amdg